Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize