We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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