I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize