How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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