Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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