Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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