Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
