I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
