I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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