I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
