i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
