i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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