While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
