Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
