Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
