this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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