I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
