btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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