i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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