We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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