Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize