did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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