so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
