you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
