I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
