Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It's official drugs can't kill me
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
im on a boat
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