He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
