everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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