He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
