This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
