watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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