Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
