don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
