I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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