They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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