I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It's shark week go big or go home
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
