Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
