Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
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