I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
