I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize