Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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