i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
