Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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