my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
