I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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