I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
How does one acquire holy water?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
