I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize