I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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