we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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