Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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