I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
