SEEEEXXX PLEASE
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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