Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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