Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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