I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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