She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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