i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
