So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
