her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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