i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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