He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
