btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
time to smoke my breakfast
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
