All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
