Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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