cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
